My Feet Will Want To March To Where You Are Sleeping..

As you my love ‚̧lay in hospital,your body withering away under the shadow of death….You are my Everything, you see my light & even love my dark.You gave me the greatest gift in our baby girl. So, for you…My feet will want to march to Where You Are Sleeping, But I Shall Go On Living … ”
I would have followed you anywhere ,and did. Others remember drunken fumbling,nights & even days of a kind of mad stalking desire where I magically made you submit to my whims & forced change of a cataclysmic measure upon you, Changed you, took away your power & ruthlessly left you in a dark black maze where there was no hope, just madness.
Truthfully I have no such power, magical or other.
And in that maze of hopelessness you were not alone…Helpless & beaten we clung desperately to each other.
Eighteen years on, after everything & everybody we fought & I AM SCARED…My fear that this time I cannot follow you to where you are destined – & you my beautiful, kind, honourable, moral Husband are going into the light of Heaven. There is no darkness waiting for you now.